The 60 Funny Quotes about Woman




Updated: June 8, 2017

Women are wonderful creation of God.
The world would never be the same without them. And whether you admit it or not, your life would never be complete without your girl.
But you are wrong if you think you already know your girl well. Read our list of funny quotes about women and tell us what you think.
While most of them are true, others are only meant to lighten up our day. Enjoy!

Girls can took almost hundreds of pictures of themselves in an hour or less, but only a single photo would look beautiful in their eyes.

An hour of preparation before going to work would never be enough for a girl. Expect that they would rather skip breakfast than not to blow dry their hair and put their make up on.

 

 

Never tell a girl to leave her boyfriend. While you have one reason for her to leave him, she, on the other hand, have thousands of reasons to stay.

If your girl suddenly turns silent, and when you asked her what is wrong, and she said there’s nothing wrong, then there’s something wrong. You probably know already what will happen next.

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Always trust women instincts. If they feel something’s wrong, there usually is. Believe it or not, but girls can never go wrong.

According to study women talk three times as much as men. That explains why in every arguments, women has to say a lot.

A woman can have as much as twelve pairs of shoes and still think it was not enough. A man can have a pair of shoes and it means much.

When your girl asks you if the other girl is beautiful, it is only about two things. First, she wants you to say that the girl is not beautiful or second, she wants you to tell her that she’s more beautiful.

Never underestimate the search skill of a woman. Sometimes, they did better job than google.

Behind every woman priceless smile is a shopping bag filled with new clothes.

 

 

A girl can look at a single photo of other girl and can say as much as thousands comments about her.

One day I and my girlfriend went shopping. A dress caught her attention, but she say it cost much. We move around and saw 50% discount on all dresses. She bought one. But when I looked at the price, same as the one we saw previously. What’s wrong with my girl?

No one wins between two girls quarreling about who are more beautiful among the two of them.

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When a woman looks her body in a mirror, she always sees double his size. When a man looks his body in a mirror, he sees half of his actual size. See the difference?

Do not mess with a girl who is having her monthly period. You do not know what they’ve been going through.

When your girl saw other name of a girl on your phonebook, she will start to roll her eyes. When your girl read a message from other girl, she instantly goes hysterical. That’s why I stopped using mobile phone until now.

Do not be deceived of how big a girl’s boobs look in her clothes. You have no idea how many bra paddings she inserts with it. That is why we need to see it first before we believe. Right guys?

 

 

It is rare to see a woman’s closet not full of clothes and yet they said they have nothing to wear.

Give your girl flowers after you argue with her, and she will throw it away. Give your girl the pair of shoes she wanted, and she will forget anything bad you have done with her.

Woman is like dictionary. She gives new meaning to everything and instantly corrects you with right words to say.

All women are good in bringing up the past and yet they said they do not care about your past.

A woman can act like they don’t care but deep inside they care. A man can act like they care but deep inside they don’t.

In every hand bag of a woman is a lipstick she can never live without.

Every girl in their monthly period deserves a slice of cake, a pack of chocolate, and a pint of ice cream. No man has an idea of how hard they have been going through.

No women can stand wearing same outfit in different parties. If you do not want to be the topic of the night, then better wear a new one.

My wife never runs out of accusations. I wonder when she was started to become a lawyer.

Three words you should never tell a girl, “You look fat.”

A woman can live without man but definitely not without a salon, a shopping mall, and a jewelry store.

Give a girl a flower, and she will be nice to you. Give a girl a diamond, and she will marry you.

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Girls can have many gestures. For instance, if a girl starts to roll her eyes, she is irritated. If a girl put his hand in a surrender position, you are dead.

When a girl says move on, it means checking her ex-boyfriend Facebook every day and reading his last messages all over again.

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Two types of women while in an oval track. Fat women pretending they are jogging but take more selfies most of the time. Thin women who jogs 5kms half an hour and no need for a selfie to prove their hard work.

Love a woman who does laundry. It means she doesn’t have to go shopping to buy new clothes because she already has nothing to wear. Just think how much money and time you can save.

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Never be with a girl while watching a horror movie if you do not want to be hit with a pillow, or if you do not want to hear a megaphone-like scream.

Your life depends on the way your wife handle your finances. The more she spends the more you should work hard.

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Do not judge a woman according to his body size. Not all fat women are fat all their life and not all thin women are thin all their life.

A woman’s tongue can be as deadly as a man’s sword. It can cut you deep in your heart and it can destroy even the strongest foundation ever built.

A girl can remember her first kiss and all the feelings associated with it. While a man can’t even remember the name of his first kiss.

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A woman who is trying hard to look beautiful is like a man who is trying to be a woman; they both need a special power to succeed.

How to make a woman happy? Give her time to think and money to shop.

Every women weakness:
Handsome sexy guy in her bed.
New pair of shoes.

Two kinds of girls: A girl with a handsome boyfriend and a girl without even an ugly boyfriend.

Women are better in pretending. They can pretend to be nice and not affected by someone’s comment about how fat she looks now.

 

Never underestimate women. Only women can do laundry while swimming, can clean the house while dancing, and can cook while singing. See how women can make use of their talents amazingly well.

As a loving husband, I always agree with my wife. Never an instance that I win over my wife. In every way, she is always right.

A woman is like weather. Always unpredictable.

Not all women are kind enough to accept all negative comments about how she looks. Some of them suddenly turn into a real beauty queen.

When your girl says she is beautiful, agree with her. Never give your girl a reason to doubt whether you are on her side or not.

Love your girl with all your heart and she will give you her world. Break her heart and you will never had a chance to see tomorrow.

A jealous woman is a woman every secretive man should avoid. When she does investigation, even the tiniest secret you have will be exposed. Know your girl now or else it will be your end.

Never will you see a group of girls not laughing and not talking to each other. When they are together, they are like they own the world.

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When you tell your secret to your girlfriend, expect that her best friend will knew about it. And tomorrow, expect the whole class will be talking about it.

You will know how a girl actually looks when she is at home. It is because it is the time when she has no makeup and no pretending at all.

There are two reasons why there are girls who sleeps without a bra:
It feels good.
No need at all.

No matter how bad is the mood of a girl, it can easily change if there are pizzas, ice creams, and cakes in the fridge.

Give a girl a chance to change, and she will never disappoint you. Give a man a chance to change, and he will be worse.

You can measure a girl’s beauty with the way she wear her makeup. The more of it, the ugly she was.

Tell your girl how beautiful she is, and she will look even more beautiful. Tell your girl that she is getting fat, and she will never stop eating more.

Not all girls with a tattoo are a bad ass. Some of them just don’t have a good place to put their masterpiece.

When your mom says enough, stop immediately unless you want to see her turn into a monstrous witch.

Every good man deserves a loving woman. Every rich man deserves a woman who loves shopping all her life.

It is more important for a girl to have a responsible man to give all her needs than to have an asshole who is only better when in need.

Make a girl smile and she will make your life happy. Make a girl cry and she will make your life miserable.

Trust a woman who loves online gaming than a woman who loves online shopping.